Resting in Provision

For so many years, I've carried the burden of taking care of myself. I understand now, that to do so is part of the Western culture. It's the mindset of those who seem to be in charge. Growing up in my family and in the school systems, we are encouraged to seek more, to compete, to strive, and to stay busy is a virtue of materialism. Coming to understand that the god of this world is materialism, I have always strove against it in my life only to find myself becoming entangled anyway. I didn't get it. I warred continously in my soul against it because in the deep longings of my heart, I knew something wasn't right. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I couldn't articulate the image in my heart which said "God, has another way to live." I sought diligently throughout the "church" world. I kept hearing how God is our Provider. Over and over, I pondered it. I prayed desperately to understand how He provided. Because, really, the provision I was providing wasn't "getting " it for me.

I remember saying to myself countless times; if my life was being provided for by God, then I was in trouble. You see, I was saved, sanctified and fill with the Holy Ghost. I studied the Word of God diligently; yet the answer to Provision was not clear. So I suffered many years. Yes, I work, like so many others; but it was never enough. It was always "just enough". When emergencies would crop up, some how God's mercy would cover me and things would work out. Yet deep down, I felt, that this was not the way to live. There had to be a better way to live. That has been a conviction for years. I kept searching. I studied Matt. 6:33 until I was tired and then I would push myself to keep studying more. I learned the (logos) Word. I could quote it verbatim. I thought I knew the meaning. My pastor(s) over the years would share the meaning as well; but it just didn't "sit right" with me. The answers I was given didn't seem to touch what I was sensing in my heart. So I concluded, the answers I received did not work for me. Sorry, but for me, I found what I was spiritually eating was milk and not meat. I needed the "meat" of God's Word. A Word that would fatten me or make me fruitful in this area.

To make a long story short, I set my face to the wall and began to pour out to God how I felt about this world and survival. Believe me, when I say, "it wasn't pretty". But it began a deliverance in my life. God began to show me all the things I believed, that was contrary to who He is. He began to renew my mind, in the things of Him. I learned the difference in the God of the modern church which I now call the "Santa Claus" God or Materialism; and the God (Immanuel) talked about in the Word of God (Bible. ).

I share this story to create hope in you. My hope is that as you walk in the same shoes as I once have, you will know the hope of His calling is to bring you to His Provision and allow you to rest in it. God has and He always will provide for those that will "rest" in Provision (Him).

We have to come to the understanding that God has not taken away Provision from us. It is forever here. But we have a choice whether we will accept His Provision or whether we will seek our own. We can remember the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. The story is about one of the father's boys' decided to go off on his own. It seems life the son felt, that he knew a better way to live. After a time, he realized he had made a mistake and he went back home. This is the short version of this parable; nontheless, it is true. We, too, as the prodigal son have left our roots. We tend to think like the Burger King's slogan: "You can have it your way". You really can, if you want to continue with not having enough or just enough.

Let's look at another story, Adam and Eve. Back in the beginning, they too had everything. Somehow, along the way, Eve got the "bright idea", that they could have more if they did it differently than what God had shared with them. Mind you, they already had more than enough in the garden. God (Our Father) had given them everything. There was nothing left to give. When we understand the word "all", then we can begin to build the framework of the whole gospel. God has given us everything (all). What more can he do? What is left, after giving us "all"! Nothing. Nothing else is left. To seek something else other than God or God's Provision is "madness". Don't we say the same thing about the prodigal son? The same judgement we've placed on the 'son' is the same judgement we are saying to ourselves. It's madness.

How long do we have to crawl around in the mud? or eat with the pigs? When will we wake up and understand that there's Provision back in the Father's house. There's more than enough (there)for us all. He has not left one of us, not provided for. Provision is in His House.

Looking at the economic times today and not knowing about tomorrow, you may throw your hands up in despair. But I challenge you to look at "the handwriting on the wall" or listen to "God's whispers to you" to come back home. You are welcome and He's waiting for you. He has provided a table for you. Why don't you come and take your seat. We're waiting!

Bless you my friend,